I don’t know what has possessed you, but you intend to go to Historical Korean Drama Land. I must warn you first that though there is marriage, it is not a land filled with clean-shaven men and short-haired women. If you intend to get laid with your heart’s affection, there are only two ways to do so. Either be a Gisaeng or one that employs one, or get married and be a main character. With that case you will produce a child. It’s always one shot go. And don’t think you’ll get to kiss as much as a romantic comedy. I still ask, why go at all? If you land in the Three Kingdoms era, don’t think about finding Gisaeng or being one.!

Alright, you’re still determined to go. Maybe you have a hanbok fetish… you still need a few things.

First, to remember it all, you will need some rice paper, and you will have to learn some old korean with Chinese characters. Write the following on the rice paper with ink. Keep in mind you have to swallow it once you get there.

1. All things written on paper that I swallow become true.
2. I am immune to torture.
3. I am immune to arrows.
3. I am immune to poison.
4. I am immune to ink and paper poisoning.
5. I cannot be smite with a sword.
6. I cannot be killed.
7. The person I love will love me back. (To cinch this check ot the romance points.)

Once you get there, recite it, chew it, and swallow.

Now for some warnings:

You may end up after Sejong appeared, in which case if you misfire, you should have a version in Hangeul. If you end up in a time here he’s around, find out from some villagers (Never anyone else) if Sejong has invented a wondrous system of writing yet. You’ll know which to swalow then. The other one is useless in that case.

You are screwed no matter what side you take. And you are required to take a side, unless you’re a peasant, in which case you’re an extra and your life will pretty much suck. I didn’t add the anti-prison curse, because many alliances are made in prison.

Next, for the duration of your visit, don’t believe what’s around you is the actual history of Korea. Save for the clothing, inventions, medicine, you’re most likely living a lie. Besides, most women back then were required to be fat. And most guys didn’t look girly.

You also have a high probability of getting executed, so be careful. Choose your side carefully.

Also the best defense against death is the silver chopstick. Real silver chopsticks. They will detect poison…

Practice your groveling before you go. When you think you’re going to be executed learn how to beg for your life or ask the person in charge to take it. Know which to do in what situation first. You will be spared. But don’t insist too much and offer the other person power in exchange for killing you, because you are likely to get killed.

You also need a pink hanbok. Light pink, relatively solid color. Only show it to the person you intend to be with. Wearing it, but not making a proclamation first makes you lose points.

Once you have all your belongings, I would encourage you to pack some herbal medicines against the following in your sleeves: diabetes, arthritis, snake bite, arrow wound (you may be immune, but it doesn’t mean your loved one will be.), anemia, neck pain.

You may also have to study the following before going: horse riding, sword fighting, archery, Korean politics of the era, the order of he lords in Confucianism.

May you go forth and not die in the machinations of the palace. Good luck traveler! You’ll need it.